Can Generational Trauma Be Passed Down Through Families?
Trauma doesn't always end with the person who experienced it. Sometimes, the effects of a difficult or traumatic experience can influence how families communicate, cope with stress, form relationships, and understand the world around them. Those patterns can sometimes continue from one generation to the next.
This is often referred to as generational trauma.
The idea can raise some complicated questions. If you didn't experience something yourself, why might you still be affected by it? Can you inherit trauma from a parent or grandparent? And, perhaps most importantly, if your family has carried painful patterns for generations, can you be the person who changes them?
The short answer to that last question is yes. And understanding where certain patterns come from can be a meaningful first step toward changing them.
In This Article
What Is Generational Trauma?
Generational trauma refers to the ways the effects of traumatic experiences can influence subsequent generations.
A person doesn't necessarily have to experience the original traumatic event themselves to be affected by its aftermath. For example, a parent who experienced significant trauma may have difficulty expressing emotions, trusting others, managing conflict, or feeling safe. Those responses can influence the environment their children grow up in.
Over time, certain coping strategies, beliefs, relationship patterns, or ways of responding to stress can become part of the family's normal way of functioning.
That doesn't mean every family member will experience trauma in the same way. It also doesn't mean that someone is destined to repeat their family's patterns. Families are complicated, and trauma is only one factor that can shape how people relate to one another.
How Can Trauma Affect Family Patterns?
Trauma can influence the ways people learn to understand safety, relationships, emotions, and conflict.
A parent who grew up in an environment where emotions weren't discussed, for example, may have difficulty knowing how to respond when their own child is upset. They may shut down, change the subject, or encourage their child to “toughen up” because that's what they learned to do. Someone else may become extremely protective because they are determined to prevent their child from experiencing the things they went through.
Both responses can come from a place of trying to cope, and over time, however, these patterns can affect the next generation:
Communication
Some families may avoid difficult conversations altogether. Others may communicate primarily through criticism, anger, silence, or indirect messages.
Emotional Expression
If someone was taught that emotions are weakness, they may have difficulty recognizing or expressing their own feelings—or responding comfortably to someone else's.
Relationships and Trust
Past experiences can shape beliefs about whether other people are trustworthy, whether relationships are safe, or whether relying on someone else is a good idea.
Parenting
People often parent partly from what they experienced growing up. Sometimes they repeat familiar patterns. Other times, they react strongly in the opposite direction.
Neither response is necessarily intentional. Much of what we learn about relationships happens before we're old enough to consciously question it.
What Can Generational Trauma Look Like?
There isn't one checklist for generational trauma. Family patterns can look very different depending on the experiences involved, the people affected, and the circumstances surrounding them.
Some possible patterns include:
Difficulty talking about emotions
Avoiding conflict or difficult subjects
A strong emphasis on being self-reliant
Difficulty trusting other people
Fear of abandonment or rejection
Overprotective parenting
Difficulty setting boundaries
Feeling responsible for other people's emotions
Believing that asking for help is a weakness
Patterns of anger, withdrawal, or emotional shutdown
Anxiety around safety, finances, relationships, or uncertainty
Family secrets or subjects that are rarely discussed
None of these automatically means a family is experiencing generational trauma. There can be many reasons for these behaviors.
The important question isn't necessarily “What's wrong with my family?” It may be more useful to ask: “Where did I learn that this is how I have to respond?” That question can open up a very different conversation.
Does Trauma Get Passed Down Biologically?
This is where the conversation around generational trauma can become complicated.
Researchers have explored whether the effects of severe stress and trauma can influence biological processes that may affect future generations. There is ongoing research into areas such as epigenetics, which examines how experiences and environmental factors can influence gene expression.
However, that doesn't mean trauma is simply “stored in your genes” and passed down like eye color.
The ways trauma can affect future generations are complex, and researchers are still learning about the interaction between biological, psychological, social, and environmental factors.
For most families, it's more useful to think about generational patterns broadly rather than assuming that every emotional or behavioral difficulty has been biologically inherited.
The environment someone grows up in matters. So do relationships, learned behaviors, cultural expectations, individual experiences, and the resources available to a family.
Can You Break Generational Patterns?
Yes, anyone can break generational patterns.
But breaking a pattern doesn't require blaming the people who came before you. In many cases, previous generations were coping with circumstances, resources, and knowledge that were different from what we have today. A parent may have repeated a behavior because it was the only way they knew how to respond.
Understanding that history doesn't excuse harmful behavior. It can, however, help you understand where certain patterns came from. Changing them starts with recognizing them.
You might notice:
“In my family, we don't talk about difficult things.”
“When someone is upset, everyone gives them space instead of asking what's wrong.”
“I learned that needing help means I'm weak.”
“I always feel responsible for keeping everyone else happy.”
Once you can recognize a pattern, you have more opportunity to decide whether you want to continue it. You can learn different ways of communicating. You can establish boundaries. You can practice responding to emotions differently. You can create relationships that feel safer and more open than the ones you grew up around.
Changing a family pattern doesn't happen overnight. And it doesn't mean you'll never fall back into an old response. It means you become more aware of your choices.
What If You Don't Know Your Family's History?
Not everyone has access to their family's history: There may be adoption, estrangement, family secrets, loss, immigration, limited communication, or simply a lack of information about previous generations.
You don't need to know every detail of your family's past to understand yourself. Sometimes, the most useful information comes from looking at what happens in your family now.
How do people respond when someone is angry? What happens when someone needs help? Are certain subjects considered off-limits? How are apologies handled? What happens when someone sets a boundary? What beliefs about relationships, money, emotions, success, or safety seem to get passed from one person to another?
You can explore those patterns without having every answer about where they originated.
When Can Therapy Help?
You don't need to have a perfect explanation for your family's history before starting therapy. If you're noticing patterns that you don't understand — or that you don't want to continue — therapy can give you space to explore them.
A therapist can help you look at the experiences and beliefs that shaped you, identify patterns that may no longer serve you, and practice different ways of responding.
This can be particularly helpful when you find yourself thinking:
“I don't want to treat people the way I was treated.”
“I know I learned this behavior somewhere, but I don't know how to change it.”
“I understand why my family did things this way, but I don't want to keep doing them.”
You don't have to reject your family or your history in order to create something different. Sometimes healing means understanding what you inherited, deciding what belongs to you, and choosing what you want to carry forward.
You Can Be Part of the Change
Your family's history may help explain some of the patterns you grew up with, but it doesn't have to determine what happens next.
You can acknowledge what happened before you without carrying all of it forward. You can learn to communicate differently. You can build relationships based on trust and boundaries. You can respond to emotions with curiosity instead of fear. And you can give yourself permission to do things differently — even when doing something different feels unfamiliar at first.
Breaking a long-standing family pattern isn't about becoming a completely different person. It's about becoming more intentional about the person you want to be.
Frequently Asked Questions About Generational Trauma
What is generational trauma?
Generational trauma describes the ways the effects of traumatic experiences can influence future generations. This can happen through learned behaviors, family dynamics, relationships, beliefs, coping strategies, and potentially complex biological processes. It does not mean that trauma is automatically passed down or that every family member will experience the same effects.
How do you know if you have generational trauma?
There isn't a single test or checklist that can determine whether someone has generational trauma. You may notice recurring family patterns involving emotional expression, communication, relationships, boundaries, conflict, or coping with stress. A therapist can help you explore these patterns in the context of your own experiences.
Can generational trauma be healed?
Yes. While you can't change what happened in previous generations, you can work on how those experiences and patterns affect you today. Therapy, healthy relationships, stronger boundaries, emotional awareness, and learning new coping strategies can all be part of changing long-standing patterns.
Do I have to know what happened to previous generations to heal?
No. Knowing your family's history can provide helpful context, but it's not required. You can work with the patterns you're experiencing in your own life even when you don't know exactly where they originated.
Can I break generational trauma without blaming my family?
Yes. Understanding how family patterns developed doesn't require excusing harmful behavior or assigning blame. You can recognize that people often respond based on what they learned while also deciding that certain patterns aren't something you want to continue.
Can therapy help with generational trauma?
Therapy can provide a supportive place to explore family patterns, understand how past experiences may have influenced you, and develop healthier ways of responding. At ACR Counseling, our therapists work with adolescents and adults through telehealth throughout Connecticut, Massachusetts, and Rhode Island. If you're beginning to recognize patterns you'd like to understand or change, therapy can be a place to start that process at your own pace.
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